Disease Diagnosis - The Indian "Offence Fever"

The Disease: "Offence Fever"

Scientific Name: Offencium Pyrexia

This disease which is effecting 1 in every 10 Indians has become a cause of national concern. A huge chunk of population is suffering from this disease and the rest of us are suffering due to this disease. The patients suffering from this disease become schizophrenic and believe they are in an era where it has become fashionably intellectual to get offended in general. Hence, they feel obligated to meticulously search for things that can be qualified as "offensive". The patients are in pain and hence make it their job to be a pain for other people as well. The disease is communicable and spreads rapidly due to low IQ, joblessness and excessive interference in the lives of other people.

Symptoms:

1. Patients become paranoid and start hallucinating about being the official censors for everything that they see or hear.
2. Patients often engage in vandalism of public property. They burn down theatres, burn down posters, burn down cars, trains ,houses...well, basically anything that is flammable.
   
3. Patients suffer from amnesia and forget completely that they have the choice of not seeing, doing or hearing the content which seems “offensive” to them.
4. Patients generally refrain from talking or even thinking about any important issues such as children welfare, anti corruption, anti rape laws and rant only about issues like who should wear what and who should marry whom.
5. Chronic patients go to parties and beat up women, engage in honor killings, assume gay sex is unnatural and even believe that clothes and eatables (e.g. chowmein) provoke rapists!! At this stage the disease is generally incurable and highly contagious. Hence the patient should be dealt with sympathy and quarantined.

Analysis:

Myth	Fact
Patients suffer from pain when the disease attacks the brain tissues associated with religious, political, cultural or patriarchal sentiments .	Patients generally have no brains to be attacked. The pain is actually due to over stuffing of the empty skull with unnecessary information & gossip about other people.
Movies, internet and books are the vectors for this disease.	Stupidity and ignorance are the vectors for this disease.
Literacy is the vaccine for the disease.	Education is the vaccine for the disease.

Education pertains to reading and understanding the printed or spoken words with an open mind whereas literacy pertains to just reading the words.

Prevention:

As discussed above, the disease is extremely serious and not at all rare but the following practices may keep you safe.

Dos

1. Read, read, read and understand what you read.  
2. Respect the rights of others and also stand up for your rights in the right manner.
    

Don'ts

1. Do not read, watch or hear any irrelevant content that may offend you. (If the content is relevant and is genuinely harmful to the society, do something constructive about it instead of burning things down .)
2. Do not argue with chronic patients as you may suffer severe and irreversible brain damage.

Disclaimer: It is noticeable that as the times are moving ahead, the line of tolerance for us Indians is shifting backwards. The internet, the press, books, speeches, movies, plays, neighbours, relatives, clothes, food, somehow have all become medias that "offend" some or the other person. Hence, I solemnly declare that the above article is not meant to offend any human of any religion, gender, race or colour in any part of the world or space.

Please do let me know your views and home remedies against this disease!!

 

 

image courtsey: www.thehindu.com